My friend Deener moved to London for grad. school. I'll miss her, but I'm more worried that those dirty Brits will try to change her. Sure they seem charming, what with their goofy talk and all. But there are some things we should all be aware of, so that we aren't duped by those Shepard's Pie eatin' bastards.....
*Sweet Iced Tea is better than Hot Earl Grey
*Burger and Fries beats Fish and Chips every time
*English Muffin Vs. Our Muffins..
*America is the home of Michael Jordan, Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Jim Brown, Peyton Manning, Tiger Woods, Larry Bird, Muhammad Ali and hundreds of other top athletes (too many to name). England is the home of David Beckham and a couple of figure skaters.
*The British think that all Americans are rebel cowboys. They do not however realize that we don't consider that an insult.
*America gave the world Lynyrd Skynyrd. England gave the world the Spice Girls.
*Hooker that Charlie Sheen went to...
Hooker that Hugh Grant went to....
So there we have it. Sure England may be a nice place to visit. But I think we can all agree that the USA is clearly better.
Deener, I hope you're reading.