Sunday, August 17, 2008

ResponseTo Infomercials As Related To Amount Imbibed

0-3 beers: Look at this crap. There are people dumb enough to buy this.
4-6 beers: If it actually worked, that would be something.
6-9 beers: They couldn't advertise it, if it didn't work the way they say. Could they?
10-12 beers: I have 30 extra minutes everyday
12+ beers: Actually I don't remember my thoughts at this point. I do know I woke up naked, cold, and wet the following morning in my bath tub.

6-8 weeks later: Billy Blanks' Boot Camp shows up on my doorstep.

I guess somewhere after 12 is when I become dumb enough to buy this crap.

Missing Link

To clear up some confusion as of late. If there are words in a post that are a different colour (that's right, I'm churching up the spelling), that means that it's a link. Click on it to further the comedic adventure that we've started upon.

**Addendum: I realize it somewhat goes against my point to tell you to click on words of a certain colour in my posts, then not actually put a link to something. So here.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

But, I Love Them

My name is Kevin, and I am a Reds fan. I guess it all started in the year of our Lord two thousand aught three, when I first moved up to Cincinnati. They have sucked, since I've lived here.

It wasn't till I've watched the Lifetime Network (when nothing else is on), that I realize that I am the same as an abuse victim.

Friend: Why are you still with him (the Reds)?
Me: I love him (Reds).
Friend: But, all he (Reds) does is hurt you.
Me: I know. But, perhaps, if I stay with him (Reds), he'll (the Reds'll) change. If I leave him (Reds), he (they) will never change. However, if I stick with him (Reds), he (they) will become a better person (team).

I (and the rest of Reds' fans) am the Reds' Valerie Bertinelli.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Bat and Switch

I went to see The Dark Knight last night. I had no clue it was about Batman. And here the entire time, I was expecting a sequel to the Martin Lawrence classic Black Knight.