Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Watching the Watchmen

The girlfriend and I went to see Watchmen last night. This is my review.

1. Being the comic book geek that I am, I've never read Watchmen. It came out when I was five. I was aware of it, but couldn't find it for years. Now that it is readily available, I decided that I'd see the movie before I read it.

2. It is beautifully shot. Much like Sin City, it is like watching a comic book on screen.

3. It blurs the lines between good and evil. Not having read the graphic novel (which I can only assume does the same), I can't think of something that can make me feel that something is truly evil, only to show me that perhaps it's for the greater good (and vice versa).

4. Too much glowing blue penis.

No. Seriously. F@#$ Protesters!

Protesters, you are like the homeless.

1. You stand on the side of the road.
2. You shout what you think at oncoming traffic.
3. You hold up (what you think is) a clever sign.
4. I try everything I can to ignore you. Especially when I am stuck in traffic.
5. You think the government is conspiring against you.
6. You, most likely, are clinically insane.
7. I will give you a dollar to leave me alone.

Addendum: Here's a few more I came up with this morning.

-You're probably going to bother me, as I am simply trying to go eat.
- You seem to think I care about what you have to say.
- You stink of stale whiskey and desperation.
- When I see you, I think, "get a job!"

On the other hand, at least I'd buy a homeless guy lunch.

Addendum #2: Hey I got one more in me.
-You're probably in the position you are now due to either mental illness or a complete inability to be productive.

Protesters Suck! I wish I had some clever play on words, but (for reals) PROTESTERS REALLY SUCK!

A few years back, when I worked for a small upstart station, I was the videographer pegged with the responsibility of filming a presidential visit (those of you who know me, also know that I'd never say filming, except while talking of the prez, I don't feel shoot is appropriate).

Part of this great privilege is the fact that you have to be in place very early. You have to have your truck parked where it will stay. You have to have all your gear inside the venue. And you are going to have to be there, pretty much, all day long.

I knew that this was my task, but I forgot to bring a book. I forgot to bring a magazine. I forgot to bring anything that could help pass the time (six straight hours of nothingness at one point). So I had to figure out my own way to pass the time.

"What to do?"

One could easily ask such a question. I found a pen. I found a manila envelope. I saw protesters. So I took that pen to that envelope, and I wrote "I LOVE SQUIRRELS". Then, I went and stood with the protesters that disliked the president so much.

Eventually, one of my fellow protesters realized that he didn't recognize me. He took a gander at my envelope that professed my love of squirrels, and asked me about it.

Protester: What's this?
Me: I love squirrels, and I think the President should know.
P: Are you for real? That's ridiculous!
M: Why?
P: Well, we all have problems with the current administration. And, we want the president to know that. You're making a mockery of what we're trying to do.
M: I love squirrels. And, I think the president will put as much stock into my love of squirrels as he will into your distain for his administration. I have every right to stand here with my beliefs as you do, and I will get just as much done.
P: You're a joke.
M: No. The fact that you think your posterboards on the side of the road are going to influence the president is a joke....Oh crap. I'll talk to you later. I gotta let the Secret Service into my live truck!

The moral of this story is that everyone has an opinion. It's really only the craziest of the crazy that feel that on a lovely day,(instead of enjoying the day)standing on the side of the road and shouting your opinion at oncoming traffic is the best way to be heard.

Perhaps, instead, write a letter to you Congressperson or Senator. Maybe your letter is ignored, but maybe it's noticed. At least you don't waste your mentally unbalanced time standing on a curb for hours.