My name is Kevin, and I am a Reds fan. I guess it all started in the year of our Lord two thousand aught three, when I first moved up to Cincinnati. They have sucked, since I've lived here.
It wasn't till I've watched the Lifetime Network (when nothing else is on), that I realize that I am the same as an abuse victim.
Friend: Why are you still with him (the Reds)?
Me: I love him (Reds).
Friend: But, all he (Reds) does is hurt you.
Me: I know. But, perhaps, if I stay with him (Reds), he'll (the Reds'll) change. If I leave him (Reds), he (they) will never change. However, if I stick with him (Reds), he (they) will become a better person (team).
I (and the rest of Reds' fans) am the Reds' Valerie Bertinelli.