Sunday, March 09, 2008

Fartin' In The Shower.

I love to fart (which may make this my most sophisticated post ever). Anywhere, really: sitting on the couch, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, eating dinner, driving to work, at work, at a bar, at a book store, at church (sorry, God)....really just about anywhere. But my favorite place to fart is the shower. For some uncanny reason that's usually where they are the loudest (perhaps acoustics play a role).

Anyway, suffice it to say today I farted in the shower. However, it was like no other that preceded it. As water ran down my back and the crack of my booty, some of the devil's wind escaped. But from behind the flowing water it made a sort of bubbling sound that I've never heard before. I instantly start laughing. Until....

I can't quite explain the smell. Sort of a hot garbage and rotting carrion, perhaps. I can say it was horrific. You know usually I can handle my own flavor, but this was almost unbearable. I thought I might have to crawl out of the room on all fours, the way you would to avoid smoke inhalation during a fire.

When I returned to consciousness, I tried reconstruct what had happened. I remembered the smell of pure evil. Then I remembered the bubbly fart that had preceded, and I started laughing again.

So the lesson learned is that no matter the price you pay for farting, the laughter makes it all worth it.

.....Oh yeah and don't try to make your own huevos rancheros.


Anonymous said...

fart of dooooooom

Thabang Motsei said...

Hilarious!Great One Kev! Farting releases all the tension in the body.To yur farts, salute!!!