Monday, April 02, 2007

I'm Not Going to Shiver Your Timber.

I was recently reminded of this story. I thought I'd share it with y'all.

About two years ago I went to a local tavern and grill to share some drinks with friends. Actually, we each had our own drink, so we didn't really share. Anyway, at some point during the evening I noticed a guy near the bar that looked like a pirate. I mean this cat had long red hair in a pony tail, a fu manchu mustache, and (the topper) he was wearing a puffy white shirt. Now, I don't know if his swashbuckley look was intentional, but it was dead on. I pointed the dude out to some friends and commented that if I were to make a movie about pirates, I would cast this fella for authenticity sake.

As the night moved forward, I felt the need to make water. As I made my way through the crowd I was abruptly stopped by what I thought was a bunch of bananas to the chest. I looked and it was actually a giant pirate hand. At least it wasn't a hook. The following is the exchange that took place.

Pirate: Do you wanna go home and have sex?
Me: Yes, but not with you, amigo.

As I walked away, Gay Pirate (aka GP) yelled "I saw you lookin!"

At this point I had two options. A) Turn around and point out that, while I was looking, it was due to his freebooter-like appearance, nothing else...or B) Ignore it and go to the restroom.

I chose the latter.

Unfortunately, the rest of the evening, anytime I went to the restroom I had to look over my shoulder to make sure GP didn't sneak up behind me and try to "walk my plank".


Kate The Great said...

Thanks for making me laugh out loud at the crack of dawn.

Working ungodly hours requires some humor.

Denae said...

i remember this story...thanks for sharing again. i think you should be GP for halloween this year.