A Cautionary Tale

Is it just me or are people just gettin dumber? The other day I saw the following warning on the lid of a Rubbermaid tub.


Does this need to be here? Of course this is a bad idea. You'll never get the lid on, if the kid's sitting up. Maybe put a pillow in there to get the rugrat to lay down.

I Need Another Fix, Mom.

When I went to Tennesse a couple weekends ago, my mom sent a jar of salsa that she'd made back with me. I stuck it in the fridge and almost forgot about it. Then a few days ago, I opened it. It was awesome. In fact, I couldn't stop eating it. I couldn't even stop dipping chips long enough to go get a bowl. I probably wouldn't have gotten a bowl but the salsa level dropped below that which would allow easy chip access. Last night I finished the last of the jar (two days after having opened it). After I poured the last drops into a bowl, I contemplated a means of which I could get what was left along the sides of the jar (perhaps upside down on a plate and wait for gravity to do its job).

I'm seriously addicted. I'm so cold. I gotta get my hands on some more.

Oddly when I asked my mom to send another jar, she told me "the first taste is free, you gotsta pay to keep it goin'." I think she's been watching the Snoop Dogg.

May Your Year Be Happy.....and Gay.

Here it is. A new year. Feels kinda like last year thus far. But, it did start on a humorous note (well, at least my friends haven't stopped laughing). Last night, a couple friends and I went to our regular watering hole to celebrate the one second that is the holiday of New Years Eve. While there, my friend Kristan took it upon herself to try to find me a lady. That's when she introduced me to a girl named Virginia. As we were talking Kristan excused herself (she's good at wingman). Not long after that, I was thrown for a loop. Let me try to recreate the moment....

Me: You said you know Spanish. Are you fluent?
Virginia: Yeah, my dad is from Mexico, so I grew up learning Spanish and English.
M: That's gotta be kinda cool.
V: Are you gay?
M: What? No! .....What?
V: You don't look gay, but nowadays you have to ask.
M: I don't really think you do.
V: I'm sorry. I should probably go find my friends.
M: That'd probably be best.

So I learned a couple things:
1. Nothing stops a conversation quicker than questioning a heterosexual man's sexuality.
2. I can't wear the sweater that my sister got me for Christmas out in public again.