I was recently reminded of this story. I thought I'd share it with y'all.
About two years ago I went to a local tavern and grill to share some drinks with friends. Actually, we each had our own drink, so we didn't really share. Anyway, at some point during the evening I noticed a guy near the bar that looked like a pirate. I mean this cat had long red hair in a pony tail, a fu manchu mustache, and (the topper) he was wearing a puffy white shirt. Now, I don't know if his swashbuckley look was intentional, but it was dead on. I pointed the dude out to some friends and commented that if I were to make a movie about pirates, I would cast this fella for authenticity sake.
As the night moved forward, I felt the need to make water. As I made my way through the crowd I was abruptly stopped by what I thought was a bunch of bananas to the chest. I looked and it was actually a giant pirate hand. At least it wasn't a hook. The following is the exchange that took place.
Pirate: Do you wanna go home and have sex?
Me: Yes, but not with you, amigo.
As I walked away, Gay Pirate (aka GP) yelled "I saw you lookin!"
At this point I had two options. A) Turn around and point out that, while I was looking, it was due to his freebooter-like appearance, nothing else...or B) Ignore it and go to the restroom.
I chose the latter.
Unfortunately, the rest of the evening, anytime I went to the restroom I had to look over my shoulder to make sure GP didn't sneak up behind me and try to "walk my plank".
Monday, April 02, 2007
Random Shower Thought #3.
How does that whole "born again virgin" thing work?
I hope it doesn't reset automatically if you haven't gotten any in a while. Man, it took me 19 years to get rid of it the first time.
Random Shower Thought #2.
Did I wash my hair already? Oh well, even if I did, the bottle says repeat.
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