Ol' McDonald Had a Farm....for Dinner.

Those of you who read regularly (all both of you), know my disdain for the KFC Famous Bowl. It's just a step shy of a trough. However, this doesn't mean I don't have a weakness for food combos that might not be the healthiest. I feel I should share some of the more recent impending heart attacks, simply because I think they're funny.

1. The Colossal - This simple and delicious sandwich was devised by my friend Mike D and I. Making one is easy. Go to Wendy's. Order a spicy chicken sandwich. Also, order a junior bacon cheeseburger. Remove chicken from it's bun, put it in with JBC. You have a Colossal. The beauty of this bad boy is it's cheap, but more importantly, you get three animals at once. Too bad Wendy's doesn't have a fish sandich.

2. The Kitchen Sink - This is actually a menu item, but it is devilishly brilliant. I had one at a place called Ted's Wildlife Grille (the chain is owned by Ted Turner) in Columbus, OH. This burger consists of a Bison burger, bacon, ham, mushrooms, onions, cheese, and, as if that wasn't enough to stop a elephant's heart, one fried egg. Awesome. Still just three different animals, technically, but you do get two pigs. Plus the egg is sunnyside-up, so it drips down the sides. The shot of pure adrenaline used to restart my heart afterward was rather invigorating.

3. My Barnyard Chili - All you Cincinnati natives will cringe, because my chili doesn't have chocolate in it. That's right, I make actual chili. It consists of three types of beans, three types of onions, two types of chili powder, and as many different animals as I can get in there. To date, the most I have gotten in is five (steak, chicken, bacon, turkey, lamb). It's like putting an entire farm in the pot. What's that Charlotte? No, Wilbur and the others won't be back.

I expect some of you are probably disgusted. Those of you thinking, "that don't sound half bad," you'll be invited to join me next time I make chili. It'll be 6 months from now. I've gotta let my heart heal.